"to consecrate her, after cleansing her through His word, as pictured in the water bath, 27 that He might present the church to Himself as a splendid bride without a blot or wrinkle or anything like it, but to be consecrated and faultless. 28 This is the way married men ought to love their wives, as they do their own bodies. The married man who loves his wife is really loving himself, 29 for no one ever hates his own physical person, but he feeds and fosters it, just as Christ does the church; 30 because we are parts of His body. 31 Therefore, a man must leave his father and mother and so perfectly unite himself to his wife that the two shall be one. 32 This is a great secret; I mean this about Christ and the church. 33 But each one of you married men must love his wife as he loves himself, and the married woman, too, must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:26-33 Williams New Testament
Now Paul goes on to say in verse 26, that the thing Jesus does to the church is that He sanctifies her and cleanses her. Notice, sanctification (Aorist Tense) here is not a process but, it’s a point action. There’s a real sense that we can talk about justification as being a point action, and sanctification being a process, but all of that is a bunch of theological gobbledygook. Truth is, when Jesus comes into your heart, you’re saved, sanctified, cleansed; a point action, and anything maybe a process beyond that, but it all happens at one time. And the Bible often speaks of that unequivocally.
Notice where it says, that “He might present the church to Himself”: the church didn’t get herself ready. Jesus gets her ready. The word “present” here is used in presenting a bride to a husband; fully adorned, in the white dress. I think ladies look more beautiful when they get married. I think ladies look very beautiful, especially two times in their life. I think pregnant ladies look extremely beautiful. It brings out part of their femininity and their womanness when they’re pregnant. I think it’s a beautiful time of their lives. I think another time that they’re strikingly radiantly beautiful, is when they’re married, and I’ve never seen an ugly bride, all my life, never had. The church is represented as a fully dressed bride, symbolizing how Christ will present the church to Himself as a splendid bride without any flaws, blameless and consecrated for God’s service. The word “consecrate” means “holy” or “set apart for the service of God,” and “faultless” means “blameless,” as in a sacrificial term. This is the position of the church before Jesus – washed in His blood, clothed in His righteousness, shining not with our righteousness, but with His righteousness. We are walking to the altar with Him.
In Revelation 19, verses six through nine, it is written that there will be a wedding of the Lamb, where the church will be united with him. Just like in a marriage, this union will be permanent and for life. The implications of Jesus marrying His Church are significant, as it means that the church will always be with Him. Hallelujah!
In verse 28, it says, “This is the way married men ought to love their wives, as they do their own bodies. . There are three ways in which married men ought to love their wives. The first is found in the verse where it says, “as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.” Men should love their wives in a self-giving, sacrificial way. The second way is mentioned in verse 28 where it says they ought to love their wives as their own bodies. To complete the metaphor, the third way is in verse 31, where it says, “a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This emphasizes the priority of the marriage over relationships with parents.
Now, the phrase, “as they do their own bodies, ” carries profound meaning. Paul is drawing from the imagery in Genesis two, where the union of a man and a woman becomes a mysterious unity in Jesus Christ, akin to one plus one equaling one. This profound connection underscores the gravity of a husband’s love for his wife, as it is an extension of self in all aspects – psychological, physical, and relational. This depth of unity is spoken of as a oneness rather than mere togetherness. The injunction to love one’s wife as oneself echoes the divine bond between Christ and His Church, reinforcing the gravity and depth of marital love.
“The married man who loves his wife is really loving himself, for no one ever hates his own physical person, but he feeds and fosters it, just as Christ does the church; “. The word “feeds,” is a word in Greek that means to feed something to maturity. So when it’s used to feed a baby bird, the bird is fed until it gets bigger to fly on its own.
Listen, my friend, it’s crucial that we pour love and support into our partners, helping them reach their full potential as individuals created by a higher power. We ought to embrace them for who they are, as cherished beings, and guide them to fully embody their divine purpose. Our love should nurture and encourage them, ensuring they blossom into their true selves, reflecting the love and warmth of a united union. Similarly, just as Christ does for the church, valuing each individual as an integral part of a greater whole. It’s important to recognize the unique gifts and significance of every individual, regardless of their gender. When we gather as a community, we all contribute as distinct parts of a singular entity.
Now in verse 31, it is stated, “Therefore, a man must leave his father and mother and so perfectly unite himself to his wife that the two shall be one”. This quote from the Septuagint (LXX) of Genesis 2:24 emphasizes the profound unity and intimacy expected in marriage. The act of leaving one’s parents signifies the establishment of a new primary loyalty and relationship. The phrase “perfectly unite himself” implies a deep, inseparable bond that transcends mere physical union, suggesting an emotional, spiritual, and psychological oneness between husband and wife. This sacred bond mirrors the profound unity between the church and Christ, highlighting the significance of harmonious and indivisible relationships within both the family unit and the spiritual community (cf. John 17:11,21-22; 1 Cor 12).
The verb “unite” in Greek is lterally “to glue”; so the man must glue himself to his wife. This means that the priority relationship is no longer parent-child, it’s man and wife. I know it’s hard for parents to let go of their children. I know it’s hard to break the umbilical cord, but the priority relationship now is man and wife. That is the priority relationship; and when in-laws come in conflict in the home, the in-laws are wrong becasue they have no business meddling in this new priority relationship. The priority under Jesus Christ is a man and a woman in Christ always.
Now in verse 32, Paul says. “This is a great secret (or mystery); I mean this about Christ and the church”. The Roman Catholic Church translated the word “mystery” as “sacrament”. However, it is worth noting that in the original manuscripts of the Bible, the term “sacrament” does not appear. But what is this great mystery Paul is talking about? Paul wanted to say, in a real sense that the church and Jesus are one – that’s what he wanted to say. But the whole context has been marriage, so he comes now to talk about the union of man and woman – becoming one body; and that indeed is a mystery. But there is a greater mystery – and the great mystery is the union of sinful men, Jews and Greeks, with the faultless, sinless Son of God, forever.
Paul frequently employs the term “mystery” (cf. Romans 11:25; 16:25; 1 Cor. 2:7; 4:1; Eph. 1:9; 3:3,4,9; 6:19; Col. 1:26; 2:2; 4:3; 2 Tim. 1:9-10). It carries diverse connotations related to different aspects of God’s redemptive plan. In Ephesians 2:11-3:13, it denotes the uniting of all people, both Jew and Gentile, in Christ, to God. This has always been God’s intended purpose (cf. Gen. 3:15; 12:1-3; Exod. 19:4-6; Eph. 2:11-3:13). It has constantly been implied by monotheism (belief in one and only one God). This truth remained concealed in the past but is now fully revealed in Christ.
Verse 33 is actually a replay of what Paul is trying to say: “But each one of you married men must love his wife as he loves himself, and the married woman, too, must respect her husband”. Married men must love… this verb is Present Active Imperative which means the husband MUST love his wife day by day. The husband is commanded to continue to love his wife as himself (one flesh, Eph. 5:31). On the wife’s part, she must respect…Present Middle (deponent) Subjunctive, which is not a command, but a strong request with a different purpose. So this is not a question of who’s first or who’s second; or who’s on top or who’s at the bottom. This is God-ordained relationship roles man and wife play – man’s self sacrificing love meeting his wife’s respect which would enhance and strengthen the bonds of love between them. This is the summary statement of the entire passage (Eph. 5:21-33).
Suggested supplemental readings:
- Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
- Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
- Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
- The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
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