“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

(1 Peter 3:7)

This whole idea of submission pertaining to ‘wives submitting to their husbands…’ in Ephesians 5:22 while in the context of the order in the family relationship, covers the husbands as well, as a universal principle. It is a mutual submission out of our respect for Christ (cf. Eph. 5:21). I know it does not say ‘husbands submit…’, but look at the phrase ‘in the same way’ in verse 7 for the husbands, and in verse 6 for the wives, the implication is pertaining to the concept of ‘submission to one another’ although the verb ‘submit’ is not there. The whole context of 1 Peter 2:9-3:9 ‘submission’, and that’s the same context about wives and husbands. There is something about Christianity, that because Christ was subject to the will of the Father, that we are subject to one another. Yes, i do believe there’s an order in creation; i do believe that the male headship is God’s will for the home and the church, but that in no way takes away the truth about the spiritual equality of the male and the female (cf. Gen. 1:27). Now, just because there’s an order in the home does not mean there’s anything ugly about ‘submission’, or inferior about women.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives,…” – what does that mean “be considerate”? Well, things have been helpful to me in my married life to try to put myself in my wife’s place whenever we have disagreement. And when i do that it always drains my own anger off, because then i see the problem in a different way, and i realize that most of the problems have an element selfishness on my part (not all just some). And this i think talks about who we are in Christ, and if you want a long and blissful marriage, you marry somebody who loves Jesus first and you second (i believe that’s a sure fool-proof formula). So here is a husband to live with his wife considering her as the weaker vessel. Of course i am stronger than my wife physically, and we don’t arm-wrestle to make decisions. I think part of this is physical and yet do you know that women are far more equipped for space than men because of their bone structure. So it’s maybe not totally weaker, but in this planet men grow stronger. The fact is, the husband is to deal with his wife with respect befitting of a woman, and continue to honor her as a fellow heir of the grace of life.

Do you know that there will be no men and women in heaven (cf. Matt. 22:30)? There’ll be no little boys and little girls in heaven. Sexuality is only an aspect of time not eternity. And while we are caught in this time-space continuum, we need to treat our wives this way, because effective prayer only works as both spouses are growing together. Prayer in a home is only effective when they’re growing together, when husbands treat their wives with honor. Not only because she is equal in the grace of God, but so much your prayers will not be hindered. If you have a bad marriage, surely you will have a bad prayer life. Husbands need to be submissive in some ways, and their submission has to be worked out in a spiritual realm (read Eph. 5). Personally, this concept of submission only makes sense to me when i look at it through the eyes of what Christ has done for me. I need to lay down my rights. I need to lay down my agressive, competitive spirit. I need to quit looking out at everything in what’s it going to do for me. How do i get something out of it. I need to put down this terrible fallen self, and i need to live in a submissive, quiet, and gentle way for the express purpose of the church not being persecuted, and men and women coming to know Jesus Christ as Savior, and that whole change of a world-view needs to color every area of our lives from business, to home, to recreation, to whatever.